Funny One Line Quotes
Here is a list of some humorous, funny one-liners and funny short sayings. We hope you get a good laugh from these
funny one line quotes, and that you will visit some of the other areas of Bit of Fun
- I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
- Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
- I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
- The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
- We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
- Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
- Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
- Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
- If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
- We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
- Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
- War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
- Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
- Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
- Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
- My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
- The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
- Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
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